There have been several other experiences as well that have trained me to be aware of my candid flirtatious nature, my niceness, my vigilance for being a fierce friend, and my lack of boundaries. Even though I may feel accepted within a particular group, I have never felt safe and have never taken a leadership position since. This experience shook my foundation as an author, and started a cycle of PTSD when dealing with people within writing organizations and conferences. I had inadvertently taken down his entire organization and it was not pretty. Not only was I clueless on the specific expectations placed on me by the organizers, but was bullied, publicly shamed, and later threatened by the founder himself to the point that I worried about my personal safety. This turned out disastrously in every way. When this has happened within my writing career, I have been able to move past it, for the most part, but not always.Įarly in my career, when I felt most on top of the world, I was persuaded to become a chapter president of a newly formed writer’s group – a position I held for six months before I resigned, and without meaning to, killed the organization.
Even when I think that I’m doing what I think it right, others take advantage of it. My believing in the best of people has come back to me several times. I can make myself at ease in any situation and I can get others to have a good time when I’m there.īut my generous nature is often misconstrued. My general ease with people is welcoming to others. My writing voice is candidly flirtatious and inviting. I am friendly in nature, and believe the best in people. I started to feel some of the anxiety and pressure.
#FLYING TOO CLOSE TO THE SUN ORIGIN HOW TO#
Slowly as my author world grew, a reputation also grew – one with expectations, one with exciting opportunities, one that pushed me into a spotlight that I didn’t know how to handle. My debut novel did well at release and about four months later, it won the Diamond Quill, which is the top honor in the League of Utah Writers. When I first published, I was feverishly excited about writing and celebrating my accomplishments. I was so focused on being successful and helping others become successful, I didn’t see what was breaking around me. And in being all the things, I started to lose sight of what mattered. and the wax began to melt.Īs an Indie author, you are all these things, all the time. This is an exhausting way for anyone to exist creatively. I became a freelance editor, an indie publisher, a typographer and formatting expert, a marketing publicist, an events director, and most recently, a novel designer. I tried several expensive ways that have failed, and some very inexpensive ways that worked. I experimented a lot with different avenues to get my books in the hands of readers. In this devastating drop, I got a good look at what I’ve been doing for the past nine years, figuring out this strange world I’ve discovered on the other side of books. The highs are addictive, but the fall to the water from such a height – the impact, the shock, and the depth. My author/editor/publisher life is like this.
Icarus, being exhilarated by flight, kept flying higher and higher until yes, the wax melted, and yes, he plunged in the ocean and drown. And we all know, or can guess what happened. But he warned that flying too low near the ocean would get the wings damp and flying to high to the sun would make the wax holding the wings together melt. Daedalus, being a pretty amazing inventor, constructed wings to escape. In short, Daedalus and Icarus were imprisoned on an island. The wings of Icarus were also my favorite present to open on the classic Toe Jam and Earl game. Icarus is a myth I have always liked, one that I remembered from when we studied it in 5th grade. It’s perfect to sing really loud in the car. Do you know the story of Icarus? Better yet, do you know the song from Kansas: Icarus – Borne on Wings of Steel? This happens to be one of my very favorite songs my mother played when I was young.
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